‘Da issues ‘08

I can’t stop writing. I feel to righteous, too impassioned, too RIGHT about these issues to cease laying it down straight and true for y’all. There are quite a few things in life that are right/wrong, all/nothing issues. Politics is one of them. And if you think your ass is responsible enough to vote- to carry the perilous and profoundly promethean burden of having your say in our shared government- then your ass needs to come correct and get y’ass straight and true on the ISSUES. The issues. The issues. DA ISSUES! Now, most of you out there aren’t going to be as right as I am all the time, so you can read my words and take them to heart, or at least let my indomitable intellect inspire you to get off your ass and vote RIGHT on the issues. If you agree with me, then congratulations- you are part of the small percentage of peeps that actually has an in depth understanding of politics, logic, and most important- right and wrong. So read on, be you a truth pimp like me- or a lame like the rest. But regardless of your opinion, God the most high, is on my side.

(I wish I could tell my class about these issues, but I can’t. I don’t wanna lose my job on my principles. Besides, they’re only 8-9, so why waste my time anyway? Being politically correct is more important to state educational bureaucracy than truth, unfortunately I am afraid).

So here are the issues that matter:

- STATE’S RIGHTS: This is a much bigger issue than many people believe. Let me give y’all an example. Remember when Bush ran against James Kerry last election? If you do, you probably remember the terms ‘red state’ and ‘blue state’ entering our shared popular American lexicon. These terms basically meant a state that was red was conservative (and in some media outlets ‘ignorant’), and blue was liberal- or knowledgeable and enlightened (haha!). You can, however, use this separation in a more accurate, logical way: Red states are righteous, old-fashioned, Christian- and blue states are a bunch of f*gs and hippies in places like New York, Oregon and California. I am from California- so I know. Most Californians are morally bankrupt, and either on drugs or f*g sympathizers or both. THIS IS WHY state’s right are so damnably crucial. Red states should have the RIGHT to make laws that enforce the honest, righteous values they hold dear. Hell, I wouldn’t give a sh*t if crazy ass, liberal states like Vermont make it ok for f*gs and fruits and rug-munchers to get married, if red states could make being a f*g at all an illegal act. I’d move there- and not have to worry about my kids seeing two dudes in line in front of us at the Coldstone Creamery, holding hands. If a state had the right to make any law it wanted, and not be interfered with by outside (re: Federal) forces- hell, we could have a decent, Christian state for once. Damn, just thinking about it makes me smile.

- ABORTION: We live in a crazy, insane, tumultuous, foul, bedraggled and immoral nation. A nation that says it’s ok for some nazi-esque Planned Parenthood murderer (re: 'Doctor') to kill little, innocent precious living babies! How does that not sicken each and EVERY one of us? Oh yeah- bombing the sh*t out of one of those clinics is ‘murder’, sure, whatever bro. Is it murder to shoot a man that’s in the process of killing some innocent person? If your child was playing in the park, and you saw some freak running at your child with an axe- would it be ‘murder’ to shoot the motherf*cker? Yeah, I thought not. Murdering a murderer?? Sounds like a DAMN oxymoron to me. Think about it.

- UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE: The fallacy of universal healthcare is one of the most dangerous f*ggot conspiracies of them all. It is so egregiously insidious because it SOUNDS moral and right. Of course everyone should have healthcare, right? WRONG. It doesn’t make fiscal or moral sense in reality! It’d never work! They say “Oh look at Canada!” Yeah... whatever. What- are we gonna start calling round slices of ham ‘bacon’ like they do now? F*ck those Canadians. Their system doesn’t work. Case closed. Go eat some more maple syrup and shove your damn maple leaf flag up your cold, shivering asses.

- LEGALISATION OF DRUGS: Hell no! If you make any drug legal, you say to the youth of America “Drugs is good! Drugs is ok!” I can tell you that if they ever make drugs legal- get ready for the fast track plan for unholy Armageddon. Hey, that’s fine with me, my soul is spoken for- as it has been for years. My heavenly robes are already half sewn son! But the rest of y’all, all you pot heads and stoners, junkies, crackheads and the rest of you f*ckers- your asses are going straight to eternal hell- THAT MUCH SOONER. Hope your high was worth it. Jesus saves.

- IMMIGRATION: Hey, let’s be straight, let’s stop beating around the motherf*cking bush on this one, ok? Immigration issue = Mexicans. Y’all know it, and I know it. These little dudes think it’s ok to come over here and do whatever they want. Well, you know what? It ain’t! If you want to know what these gardeners and dishwashers and busboys and maids are really like- here’s an experiment for you: Go to Tijuana. It’s close if you live in the southwest. Hell, if you don’t, just 'google' Tijuana. It’s a festering, rat-harboring, sucking cesspool of prostitution, vice, liquor and sin.... a refried-bean-stankin’ hellhole! Think of your town, then think of Tijuana… Hmm, do y’all hear me yet? As far as I’m concerned all you Mexicans can stay south of the damn border and just be happy with y’all’s bad plumbing and those people who sit on the sidewalk selling chiclets gum packets and ceramic donkeys. Suckaz, ya brought it on ya’selves!

So that’s it for now peepz- I am tired, this is my second post for today. I am just too, TOO impassioned!

-RoRo OUT!