I HAD A REALLY DISTURBING DREAM ABOUT THE DEMOCRATS LAST NIGHT.

I'm not feeling too good right now.

Oh lord, it was so messed up. I have my fair share of vivid dreams, but the usual sort of stuff. Sure I have good ones, bad ones, and the more than occasional night terror- but this last dream has gotten me all bugged the f*ck out. I have been awake since 4am over this mess. I admit it’s a weird-ass dream, and if I didn’t believe in prophetic dreams or oneiromancy is given to men by GOD, I would never share this creepy sh*t with you. I am not superstitious, I believe in the supernatural OF COURSE, but I believe in the supernatural forces that come from either the power of God or the dominions of Satan. No gay ass tribal shit or boogeymen for me. That superstitious nonsense is for kids. Hey, I am an intellectual, a teacher and a renaissance man all around. I do NOT care for voodoo however- that shit is from the devil and it’s damn real. It’s demonic, and as my Christian brothers know- the devil is FOR REAL. And it is most definitely not superstition. This one crazy old b*tch that lived near my old place of employment was trying to put a curse on me, because I was talking to people in the neighborhood about Christ and the b*tch saw me trying to witness to some of her neighbors. She would peer out at me from behind her curtains and sh*t, she’d make weird faces and hand motions. I ended up changing jobs (not only because of this old b*tch though, I move UP in the world. Better jobs, better times, all that.) I threw a big rock through a glass pane in her front door on my last day at that place. I do NOT play around with voodoo, I am a soldier of God. The satanic b*tch got what was coming, and I’d have loaded up a car with my boys and went and stomped her if the law would have allowed. The world should not be forced to suffer such emissaries of the devil.

But I am getting carried away again, and this is about my dream- and specifically, it’s about Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and Ted damn Kennedy. And it is laced with religious or prophetic signs and imagery. Ok, so it starts off with me sitting in a station wagon (Or Aerostar type minivan maybe?), it’s pitch dark outside and I am not alone in the vehicle. I become slowly aware of the conversation taking place around me, a woman’s voice and several men’s voices. After a minute or so, I realize I am hearing Hilary Clinton’s voice. It is soon joined by what I recognize to be Barack Obama’s voice, her husband Bill and Ted Kennedy. They are whispering almost, and they are being very serious. They are all wearing black, and Ted Kennedy has a pair of dark glasses on- in the middle of the night! Now, it’s all pretty realistic, there’s no weird sh*t going on like all that cliché dream sh*t- being nude or in your underwear or flying around and stuff. We’re just drifting down this dark road, the headlights being the only light except for the dashboard. And they are talking real quiet- and I’ll admit I feel uneasy, even nervous. Something is wrong, and I cannot for the life of me figure out just what the hell it is. “The missiles, how do we get to the bombs and missiles?” It was Obama, and the Bill whispers “Nah, don’t worry. Been there 8 years already- I KNOW how to get to those missiles. Not a problem Barry.” Ted Kennedy then says “Gentlemen and lady, we must not overlook the orbital missiles, this is crucial.” This is all wrong- missiles? Orbital missiles? What the damn hell is going on- I keep thinking. Then Bill hands (of all things!) me a cup of those instant ramen noodles, and pours some steaming hot water over it. (Aw hell son? WTF is this damn sh*t?) He then says “Oriental style, one of my favorites.” I notice we are all getting ready to have some noodles, and Hilary is talking again. “McCain dies first, then that idiot New York mayor goes next.” I am really upset now, but I feel unable to move, frozen, only able to listen. “I want video, so we can savor the kill…again and again...” This was Obama speaking now, and he looked positively evil, glaring like a maniac. I can feel myself trembling, but I can’t even so much as turn my head to look to either side. Now, suddenly, we all start eating the noodle soup in unison, with those crappy chopsticks you get at the chinaman restaurant.

Ted Kennedy looks up about halfway through our shared meal, and with an odd, inscrutable look and says “Peanut butter and jelly anyone?” while handing out sandwiches. Just as he finished his question, I notice some scenery outside the car had become visible finally. It’s a lightly snow covered road now, and we are driving up to a security checkpoint/gate now. Hilary looks around the car now with a look of menace mingling with perverse excitement. “So close to the silos, so close to destruction…” I notice a sign next to the gate, as we drive through says “NORAD”, which is that place where they fire off all the missiles and sh*t, like in that movie ‘Wargames’. As we drive through I see the sky light up brightly with some sort of fiery conflagration, and it forms itself into the shape of a cross- a burning damn cross! The light is so bright it lights up the surrounding snow covered mountains- which remind me now of nothing so much as POINTY WHITE HOODS. Oh God, Lord help me! I think, still unable to speak aloud. The other people in the car are looking at me now, laughing hideously. Their eyes descend to my half finished ramen noodle cup, I follow their eyes down to it. As the Lord preserves me I swear it was now filled with blood! I feel myself start to pass out, and Obama leans towards me, he looks like he’s going to hurt me, and now his eyebrows have grown together and his face looks all hairy. At this moment, still unable to scream, we drive into an opening in the mountain and into pitch darkness.

That’s it, and I haven’t been able to think about anything else since 4am in the damn morning.
What the hell does this mean? What is God trying to tell me? I’ve been praying all day, I skipped work because of this dream. I don’t know, I just wish I knew what this means!