Oh man, what a world of intricate bullshit I live in. I have been so wrapped up dealing with this shit, I ain’t had a chance to finish my latest blog until today. Being a good and dutiful husband, and a Christian mind you, I have to be there at all times for my b*tch. Marriage is for better or for worse, and my b*tch has been dropping a world of ‘worse’ on me the past few days. I have been non-stop irritated like a motherf*cker because of this shit. First, she tells my ass to mow the lawn. OK fine, it’s a duty of mine and I am obligated to do it- and do it well. But the b*tch doesn’t have to step up and be bossy to my ass. I had to lay it down for her and let her know I am ‘da man’ of the house, and my word is law! So I think she’s starting to remember her subservient place in the home- and then, in the middle of my ass mowing our lawn- the b*tch decides she’s gonna tell me to move some of her damn potted plants around. Aww, hell no b*tch! I got all up in her face and let her know what her role in our house is. To cook and clean and to ‘receive it’ when the man (Re: ME) busts his nut. I told her to remember her place and she’d be happier. So halfway through moving the b*tch’s stupid plants, her ass tells me she wants to go out for a fancy dinner and that MY ass needs to dress nice- for once- she says. I told the b*tch that as God is my witness, she was lucky I didn’t bend her over the hedge and take her from behind- right there in the motherf*king yard! Just to demonstrate my dominance A fancy dinner out is something you do for a b*tch when her ass has pleased you, not some bossy freaky-ass b*tch that thinks she’s gonna boss her man around. Hell b*tch! We just went to the Olive Garden last month! What the f*ck are you thinking you skank-ass fool? Then the b*tch says I gotta take her to the mall and buy her a pair of sandals? I had to pray to God and seek the serenity of Christ not to throw her out of our speeding car. Her ass ain’t worth nothing except the tits and ass and p*ssy. I have had it with this sh*t. God, strengthen my will.
I AM TOO PISSED ABOUT THIS SH*T TO CONTINUE, I’LL WRITE MORE NEXT BLOG…
I didn’t live all these years, filled with wisdom and compelled past the contemporaneous, the superfluous and the commonplace without having a strong, unbeatable instinct for TRUTH. I got wisdoms from way back, from ON HIGH! The Lord God feeds me knowledge and filters facts and factoids through his wisdom, scrutinizing them for truth and righteousness. So, what that means is, everything I hold to be true and wholeheartedly believe is right is RIGHT, because I have God making the decisions about what comes into my mind. When I feel those feelings that tell me something is 100% true- I get that feeling from God, from Christ. So I have no doubts son! No doubts whatsoever, for my wingman, my partner, my compadre, my comrade, the mustard to my hotdog- is God, the most high. Step off, you pimps of the false. I am right and your asses are wrong, deal with it you no-truth-having motherf*ckers! Hell son, I am a teacher of youth, and I know at all times what I am talking about.
Let’s start with these lames who make all conspiracy theories look bad- the freaks, the punks, the dudes with they heads up they asses. These dudes are in need of the ultimate beat down- God’s wrath. Let these piece of sh*t motherf*ckers drink the bitter wine of the Lord’s vengeance. Let’s break it down- righteous style:
We never landed on the moon: This shit was on TV motherf*cker! That alone is reason to dismiss this, the worst of all false conspiracy theories. We clearly, CLEARLY did go to the moon. What more can I say? Buzz Armstrong and his testimony alone- is proof enough as well. We went to the goddamned motherf*cking moon, case closed.
JFK’s murder was part of a conspiracy: Anybody with a brain knows if there was some deep conspiracy to murder JFK- they’d have killed the motherf*cker all quiet like. It’d have looked like natural causes. He’d have choked on a chicken bone or something. Lee Harvey Osmond did it alone- cause his ass was trying to impress the motherf*cking Russians. I know it, and so do all the other clear-headed, smart ass Christian men out there on the multi-superfluous world wide web. Step correct fools- there was no conspiracy. Y’all punk-ass lames is wrong as always.
Area 51: C’mon dudes, what sorta lame does your ass have to be to believe in little green men? “Ooooh we be alien,s and we can fly across the motherf*cking galaxy, but these New Mexico telephone lines are too much for our asses!” There ain’t no f*cking aliens! The only aliens we have to worry about are beaners and the like. They’re from Mexico- not Alpha Centauri motherf*ckers! Time to get wise son!
I have to stop again now- my jimmy's getting thick- signalling my wife's one good use...
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